There is an inspiring book I keep by my desk at all times called The Book of Heroic Failures. It is hilarious. Back when I was a school teacher, whenever I had a bad day it used to cheer me up with stories of other people who had had even greater disasters than I did. Like the day when I set the brand new combined science laboratory on fire. Or on most Fridays when year 11 set Z were even more revolting than usual. One story which always made me feel better was about a group of soldiers who were standing in for the Fire Brigade during the firemen’s strike in 1978. You may remember they drove the military fire engines, the Green Goddesses, rather than the usual red ones. Warning – this is a sad story. This group of soldiers went to rescue an elderly lady in South London whose cat was stuck up a tree. They arrived promptly and with great skill they rescued the cat. The lady was so grateful that she invited the heroes in for a cup of tea. Which was great until they were driving the Green Goddess away back to the fire station, The soldiers accidentally reversed back over the cat and squashed it. They could have been heroes but ended up being heroic failures.

Have you ever felt like a heroic failure? Like Peter in our story today. In the history of heroic failures, few have been as tragic or as catastrophic as the apostle Peter when he denied that he was a follower of Jesus not just once, not twice but three times in the space of an hour.

Imagine how Peter must have felt when he heard the cock crowing. Have you ever let a friend down? Failed to keep your promise to them? Done something which has hurt them? Or perhaps worst of all, when they most needed your help and support, denied that you were their friend or even that you knew them at all? If so, you will have an idea of how Peter was feeling on that last evening of Jesus’s life, when he had disowned Jesus and denied that he was a disciple. It was surely the lowest point in Peter’s life. When he realized just how badly he had let Jesus down. What a heroic failure.

There were at least four reasons why Peter would feel especially guilty and ashamed about what he did on that evening. The first is that it was Jesus who he disowned. Not just any friend. But Jesus. His rabbi, his teacher. Jesus who Peter had recognized and declared to be the Holy One of God, the Messiah, the Son of God. But Peter lied and said that he was not a disciple and that he didn’t even know Jesus. Jesus was on trial for his life inside the house. And at the same time Peter was on trial outside in the courtyard. Jesus’s accusers were the Jewish authorities, the most powerful people in Jerusalem. Peter’s first accuser was only a servant-girl. And yet Peter failed.

Secondly, Jesus had already warned all his disciples about how serious it would be to deny Him or be ashamed of him.

Mk 8:38 If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.’

Matt 10:32‘Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. ³³ But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.

Denying or disowning Jesus would be a very serious thing to do. But that is exactly what Peter had done.

Thirdly, Jesus had specifically warned Peter in advance that he was going to do just that thing! Earlier that evening, as they were eating the Last Supper.

John 13 ³⁶ … Jesus replied, ‘Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.’

³⁷ Peter asked, ‘Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.’

³⁸ Then Jesus answered, ‘Will you really lay down your life for me? Very truly I tell you, before the cock crows, you will disown me three times!

Luke 22:33 records that (Peter) replied, ‘Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.’

³⁴ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, Peter, before the cock crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.’

Matthew tells the story like this.

Matthew 26:31-35, ³¹Then Jesus told them, ‘This very night you will all fall away on account of me,  …

³³ Peter replied, ‘Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.’

³⁴ ‘Truly I tell you,’ Jesus answered, ‘this very night, before the cock crows, you will disown me three times.’

³⁵ But Peter declared, ‘Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.’

So Jesus knew that Peter would let him down and say that he didn’t even know Jesus. Within just a few hours Peter would be regretting that rash promise. “I will lay down my life for you.” “Even if I have to die with you.” Jesus had warned him that he would deny his Lord and Peter should have been taking extra care. Instead Peter failed him, just as Jesus had foretold. It had been so easy to boast, “I will lay down my life for you”. When that distant prospect became an imminent risk, we can understand why Peter changed his tune.

Peter should have been on his guard. We know the saying, “Pride comes before a fall.” It comes from Proverbs 16:18 All Peter’s self-confidence, arrogance even, should serve as a warning to us all. As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:12So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!

Then there was a fourth reason why Peter would have been desperately ashamed about denying that he knew Jesus. Because another of the twelve apostles had seen it all happen!

¹⁵ Simon Peter and another disciple were following Jesus. Because this disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest’s courtyard, ¹⁶ but Peter had to wait outside at the door. The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the servant-girl on duty there and brought Peter in.

We aren’t told for certain who this “other disciple” was, but it is only John’s Gospel which mentions this other disciple who made it possible for Peter to enter the courtyard. So we can be pretty sure that it was the apostle John himself who followed Jesus to the High Priest’s House along with Peter.

The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the servant-girl on duty there and brought Peter in.

¹⁷ ‘You aren’t one of this man’s disciples too, are you?’ she asked Peter.

He replied, ‘I am not.’

And John was right there, by Peter’s side when the servant girl let them together into the courtyard. He could not have failed to hear Peter deny that he was one of Jesus’s disciples. John could well have been there around the fire beside Peter warming himself when others asked the question a second time. And it is only John’s Gospel that identifies the third person to challenge Peter as the High Priest’s servant. It seems highly likely John witnessed that conversation as well. We can sometimes come to terms with our mistakes, and even our disasters, if none of our family or friends know about them. Things always seem so much worse when we mess things up right in front of people we know and care about. What will they think of us?

When the cock crowed it wasn’t just Peter who knew that he had let Jesus down. John had seen it all. Peter had disowned Jesus three times, just as Jesus had foretold, all in front of his old friend John. John knew Peter’s shameful secret and Peter would never be able to hide it or forget it or pretend it had never happened. No wonder that Matthew’s Gospel and Luke’s Gospel tell us that when the cock crowed Peter went outside and wept bitterly. Truly a heroic failure.

It was the 16^th century martyr John Bradford, who first said, “There but for the grace of God go you and I.” We must not leap to judging Peter too harshly. Because this story makes us ask very uncomfortable questions. Have there ever been times when we have denied Jesus? Or disowned Jesus? Even lied about whether we are Christians because we were afraid of what the consequences might be if we told other people that we are disciples of Jesus?

The trials may come in subtle ways. It doesn’t often happen that people ask us directly, “Are you a Christian?” So we may not often have needed to lie and answer “no” to that question. We may never have actually denied Jesus by saying, “I am not a Christian” or “I don’t believe in Jesus”. But there may well have been times when people are talking about Christian things and they have asked our opinion and we have ducked the question. Or times when we have deliberately avoided talking about Jesus. And there may well have been times when we have disowned and dishonoured Jesus by saying things Christians should not say or doing things Christians should not do. Heroic failures.

I heard a story about a policeman who was being interviewed for a promotion. The interviewer described a challenging scenario. “You are in uniform out on the beat by yourself. An ugly crowd is coming along the road shop smashing shop windows. One of the shops catches fire. At that moment a heavily pregnant woman collapses on the pavement in front of you and goes into labour. You try to call for backup but your radio isn’t working. What do you do?” The policeman thought for a moment and then gave an honest answer. “I would take off my helmet and jacket and merge into the crowd.”

With Jesus inside the house on trial for his life, there in the courtyard Peter was only doing what most of us would have done. He was trying to merge into the crowd, trying not to get noticed. Like the chameleon, that remarkable lizard which can change the colour of its skin to resemble their surroundings. Chameleons put on camouflage so they can merge into the background and not stand out. Sometimes Christians deny Jesus by being chameleons, merging into the crowd so nobody notices them. It is easy to be full of joy and praise and to say all the right things when we are surrounded by other Christians. The challenge is to stand up for Jesus and speak up for him in a hostile crowd, in our place of work, or with our neighbours and our friends who aren’t Christians. Have we ever been Chameleon Christians?

No wonder that when the cock crowed, Peter went out and wept bitterly. Perhaps we have also let Jesus down. Perhaps we have denied or disowned Jesus and now bitterly regret those failures. Sometimes we might think of ourselves like Peter as heroic failures.

I am not going to jump to any happy ending this morning. It is too easy to race past the pain of the cross on Good Friday to the good news of Easter. And I am not going to do that. In the next twenty-four hours Jesus will be found guilty in rigged trials. He will be mocked and scourged. Jesus will be cruelly nailed to a cross where he will die. He will spend two nights dead in the tomb. And all through those days Peter will be consumed with the guilt and the shame of having denied and disowned his Master and his Friend. I am not going to skip over the cross and jump to the resurrection today.

But I am going to give you the glimmer of hope which comes straight out of the passage we have read. Jesus did not reject Peter. Jesus did not throw Peter out of the room and tell him never to come back. Jesus let Peter come along with him to the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus knew exactly how Peter was about to let him down and disown him. But Jesus did not reject Peter. And Jesus will not reject us either.

There is a truth about ourselves that we prefer to hide from. The reality is that even as Christians, even after we have been forgiven, we are all sinners. We all do let God down. Anglicans are usually better than Baptists at acknowledging this face. A prayer in the 1980 Anglican Alternative Service book says this.

“Almighty God, our heavenly Father, we have sinned against you and against our fellow men, in thought and word and deed,
in the evil we have done and in the good we have not done,
through ignorance, through weakness, through our own deliberate fault.”

Even as Christians, we are all miserable sinners. We fail God in all kinds of ways for all kinds of reasons. When that happens, we may feel as full of shame as Peter did when the cock crowed. But here is another truth we need to get hold of and cling on to. We may be surprised when we fall into sin, but God never is. Major Ian Thomas was the founder of Capernwray Hall and the Torchbearers movement which trained evangelists and missionaries. Ian Thomas’s most famous saying is this. “All that God expects from us is failure.” Jesus knew Peter would fail him, and God knows we will fail him too. When we do things in our own strength, God expects us to fail. This will teach us to rely on God.  

Too often we expect too much from ourselves. We demand that we are perfect. God doesn’t. “All that God expects from us is failure.” The wonderful truth is that Jesus knows in advance all about all the ways in which we are going to mess up and let him down. Jesus did not reject Peter, and Jesus will not reject us either. However far we stray from him, God loves us all with a love which will never, ever, let us go.

Peter let Jesus down – three times. And we all let Jesus down, on many more than three occasions I am sure. Jesus did not reject Peter and Jesus will not reject us. And then (Easter spoiler alert) Jesus forgave Peter, and Jesus will forgive us too! We need to learn, as Peter would need to, how important it is not to rely on our own strength or courage but to rely instead entirely on the power of the Holy Spirit. We have God living inside us as our Helper, helping us to be faithful witnesses for Jesus. When the times of trial come and we are tempted to deny Jesus or disown Jesus, God will give us the strength to stand firm in our faith if we ask Him.

So stand up for Jesus. Be bold in sharing your faith with friends and strangers. They all need to hear the news that Jesus saves. Peter disowned Jesus three times. The example of Peter’s failure is recorded as a warning for us all. Don’t be a heroic failure. Don’t be a Chameleon Christian! But if you do ever let God down, don’t give up on yourself, because God never gives up on you. All that God expects from us is failure. Jesus did not reject Peter – and Jesus will never, ever, reject us!