The apostles Paul and Peter both give an interesting exhortation for Christians.
Ro 16:16 Greet one another with a holy kiss.
1Co 16:20 Greet one another with a holy kiss.
2Co 13:12 Greet one another with a holy kiss.
1Pe 5:14 Greet one another with a kiss of love.

We greet family members with a hug or a kiss. We greet old friends with a hug or a kiss. There are sensible reasons why these verses are usually neglected in practice, both for safeguarding and Covid19 precautions, there is an underlying principle which churches should not ignore. “The holy kiss” is a thermometer of how warm and how close we are to other Christians in the church. The primary reason we have difficulty greeting our fellow Christians at Church in these ways is simply that we don’t view each other as family or as old friends. We are too distant from each other. We need to be more open to each other. Church should be about Relationships rather than Activities. And church should be FUN!

MORE FRIENDSHIPS LESS MEETINGS

Often when we talk about “church” and “going to church” we are only thinking about the building and those times when we all gather together for worship on Sunday. But church is NOT just what we DO on a Sunday. Church is what we ARE as Christians together 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

There is this repulsive American phrase – “doing church.” I hate that phrase!! The important thing is not “doing church” or “running church” but BEING church! The programme we follow deserves our attention because it has a part to play, but the people are more important than the programme!! The programme is just a means to an end, not an end in itself. If we focus on DOING church, we will become preoccupied with programmes. The programme influences and reflects the way we DO church. But if we want to think about BEING church then it is the PEOPLE that matter! BEING church is much more about the relationships we form with people than the programme of ingredients we put into our services and activities. Churches don’t need new ways of “doing church.” What every church needs is to discover more and more of what it means to “be church,” to be Christ’s body here on earth.

When we realise the church is all about people, we’ll put less emphasis on meetings and events, and more emphasis on relationships and friendships. “If the focus is on meetings, not friendships, then when experience of meetings is problematic or unhappy relationships become fragile. The more “structure” the less “church”. When we remember that “church” means “people”, we’ll aim to become more of a family and less of a business. We will send out less pieces of paper and spend more time talking to people face to face! And we’ll care less about “church business” and more about each other’s lives. Visitation programmes will be replaced by popping in on friends. And meals together won’t just happen at Inductions and Church Anniversaries.

Our Church services, and ALL our Christian gatherings, should be occasions when we enjoy each other’s company, “being church”. Not occasions when we race through our programmes and then run away again as fast as possible! The programme should help us get to the point where we can begin to trust one another, begin to care for each other and share our lives with each other and bear one another’s burdens. If we race home after services or Bible Study or even Prayer time without talking to each other about our real lives, we are just “doing church”. We may experience bits of worship and teaching and prayer but we will be missing out on the fellowship which is a huge part of what “being church” is all about. If we are really “being church” we will get beyond “meeting-itus.” We’ll want to stay together as long as possible, revelling in the fellowship and only tearing ourselves away when our responsibilities to the world drag us sadly apart. Because the church is the people, not just the programme!

Here is a simple test for us. What language do we use when we talk about the church? In the singular or in the plural? North Springfield Baptist Church IS or NSBC ARE? Do we say “NSBC holds ITS morning service at 10.30? Or would we say, “NSBC hold OUR service at 10.30”? Forget grammar for a moment. Do you think of the church as “it” or as “they”? Much better to think of the church as “we” and “us”? For some people, church is IT – just an organisation with a programme, even just a building? But the heart of church is really “US.” The people!

And relationships with other people take TIME. The French Christian psychiatrist Paul Tournier said this. “Christians today are always too busy. Nobody doubts their sincerity but everybody doubts their love.” Relationships take time. Outreach takes time. Pastoral care takes time. If we want to grow up into Christ this demands time! Each of us has exactly the same amount of time to use – 24 hours a day! The things we choose to spend that time doing reveal where our priorities lie, and what is truly important to us. Loving each other. Sharing our faith. Worship and prayer and fellowship and learning from the Bible. If these things are important to us we will want to give time to them!

BEING FAMILY

The church is a family, not a business! The deepest and level of fellowship is the kind of bond you have between family members. This is the kind of bond between a parent and their children or the bond you might have with a brother or sister. It is an unconditional kind of bond that is for life! The deepest level of fellowship is when you can love other people in the church like that!
The Bible says about the early church that, “They were like family to each other.” Acts 2:42 CEV

Family is where we GROW; Family is where we are NURTURED and fed; Family is where we LEARN– role models; Family is where we are ENCOURAGED; Family is where we are SUPPORTED; Family is where we find SECURITY; Family is where we are ACCEPTED; Family is where we are COMFORTED; Family is where we find HEALING – when we are sick or hurting or grieving; Family is where we learn how to FORGIVE; Family is where PROBLEMS ARE WORKED OUT.

“You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family” You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your fellow Christians, your fellow church members, your brothers and sisters in Christ.

1 John 4:20 If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

Loving people does not require liking people or having warm feelings towards them!!
Love is not a feeling – it is a command!

BREAKING DOWN BARRIERS

In the film Rising Sun, Sean Connery’s character Captain John Connor describes the difference between American Business practice and Japanese practice. He says that when something goes wrong the Americans way is to race around trying to work out who was to blame. Instead the Japanese way is to pull together to fix what was wrong, so that you wouldn’t need to find anybody to blame. The Japanese have a saying “Fix the problem, not the blame.” That way nobody gets blamed. Their way is better.

Sadly in church life we are too slow to fix the problems and too quick to place the blame. We are not the only church when people who are discontented or dissatisfied choose to complain rather than to try to make the situation better.

Maybe we just don’t think we need each other enough. We are too self reliant. We don’t help each other out enough. Perhaps we just are too proud to ask each other for help? Perhaps we are scared of asking each other when we need help or support or advice
because we feel we will then be in debt to the other person.

Two porcupines in the freezing north country of Canada huddled together to keep warm in the snow. But because they were pricked by each other’s quills, they moved apart. Soon they were shivering again and had to lie side by side once more for their own survival. They needed each other even more than they needled each other!

Need for FORGIVENESS

Forgiving each other not just seven times but 70 times 7.

Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Col 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Ro 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

HOSPITALITY

In our modern world of motels and restaurants and coffee shops, we can be tempted to think that the need for hospitality is no longer there. I’m happy to say that simple hospitality remains a vital tradition in the middle east and the Third World. It was one of the things that stood out for me on my visit to Uganda. Ugandan Christians show lavish hospitality even though they have next to nothing. Hospitality is not a difficult thing. It simply means welcoming people into our homes and into our lives. It is simply spending time together.

Hear what the Bible COMMANDS.
Practise hospitality Rom 12:13. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling 1Pet 4:9.
Hospitality is at the heart of Christian fellowship and pastoral care. If we are aiming at more pastoral care then we need less meetings and more and deeper friendships.
And hospitality is at the heart of outreach and evangelism as well. Paul wrote about his outreach to the Thessalonians, We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. (1 Thess 2:8)

In the dictionary, the word “hospitality” is fits nicely between “hospital”, a place of healing, and “hospice”, a place of shelter. Hospitality isn’t just an admirable social skill; It’s essential for anyone who follows Christ. When we show kindness to outsiders, we reflect the character of God. The Message translates 3 John 5 like this: “When you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible. … It’s good work you’re doing, helping these travellers on their way, hospitality worthy of God Himself!

It’s very important not to confuse hospitality with entertaining. Entertaining is fine china, and cloth napkins, and a dessert that took three hours to prepare. Entertaining is having the carpet cleaned, and the lawn mowed, and the kids out of the way and preferably out of the house so they won’t spill anything on your guests. Hospitality, on the other hand, is inviting people into your life, just as you are. Hospitality is walking into the living room two steps ahead of your guests and hiding the toys behind the sofa. Hospitality is sharing whatever you’re having, even if it’s just out of the freezer into the microwave. Hospitality is real life. Hospitality is treating strangers as part of the family.
So it follows that hospitality is humble. Because if we open up our homes and our lives to people, some of the messiness of our own lives is going to be exposed. And that’s OK. Hospitality has to come before pride. When you sense a need, or the opportunity for fellowship arises spontaneously, you have to be prepared to invite folks in regardless of what the house looks like. Because it’s not your house, or your furniture, or your culinary skills that people need most. It’s your friendship. It’s your conversation. It’s your time. We mustn’t let pride keep us from practicing hospitality. Hospitality begins with simply saying hello to people we don’t know. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

So we need to work at HOSPITALITY. That isn’t impossibly difficult! It only means inviting folk round for a coffee or a lunch or even just a chat. Making the effort to get to make new friends and welcome newcomers. These are simple things you could start doing from today!

1. LEARN THE NAMES of other members of the church! If you see a brother or sisters you don’t know… take the initiative to meet them and to know them. (Make use of the church directory!)

2. PRAY FOR THE CHURCH.
Pray for people with particular needs, mentioning them by name in your private prayers (read the list of pastoral needs in Yellow Pages and pray for the requests). Pray for the activities of the church!

3. TALK TO PEOPLE!
Every event is an opportunity to get to know other people better. You ARE allowed to meet with other Christians when you aren’t at church. You ARE allowed to phone or text or email other Christians during the week (but NOT during the services!) You ARE allowed to visit each other, or have coffee together, or have lunch together with other Christians without the church’s permission in advance! You DON’T have to wait for the church to organise events. YOU ARE ALLOWED to make your own arrangements and get together by yourselves!

4. BELONG TO A HOME GROUP

A group where you can know and be known as a family. The church is more of a family in these smaller gatherings than it ever can be in larger meetings. These are the principal occasions for fellowship and pastoral care – not on Sundays but midweek. Where we share our Christian lives with our brothers and sisters. We share our joys and sorrows, questions and doubts, needs and problems, with others and we can all be used by God to help each other grow as Christians. We care for each other and meet each other’s needs in practical ways. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the Law of Christ.” (Gal 6:2) so we obey Christ’s New Commandment to love one another as He loved us (John 13:34-35). That way we live more as the family of God which we already are?

5. PRACTISE HOSPITALITY
my house is your house – my home is your home

As summer approaches there are all kinds of things we could do together = Picnic in park / Hunger lunch / bring and share lunch (aim is NOT to feed the hungry but just to give opportunity for relaxed fun together) / watching Olympics together / games evenings at church

More friendships less meetings. Being Family. Breaking down barriers. Hospitality.