We are all growing older all the time. “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” (Eleanor Roosevelt)
“Growing older” affects everybody in at least four ways. Biologically, our bodies, health and senses can deteriorate. Psychologically, our mental capacity can be affected. Socially, many people interact less well with other people. Functionally, our activities and ability to cope independently can be restricted.
There are some good things about growing older. You get better at using what you have learned – this is called crystallised intelligence. Most people become nicer – more happy, less grumpy, less angry, getting on better with other people. As their circumstances change, for example when there are fewer family responsibilities or when they give up work, many people feel less stressed or under pressure. As long as folk pace themselves they can remain productive. Many find that they enjoy their own company more as they get older, although they have more family and friends who they miss because they are no longer there.
Within most of our lifetimes more than a quarter of the UK population will be over 65. On average older people they have enough money but a significant proportion do live in poverty. In the workplace a third of workers are over 50, more in public services and as keyworkers. Many 50+s are very active providing unpaid care, or volunteering, with 65-74s the most active in volunteering. Over 50s account for more than half of consumer spending.
But then growing older has its down sides. Our bodies do change. In general people are physically less strong, with less stamina. They tend to experience problems with their health more often, and for some this may affect their minds and their memory. Many people find that they become more anxious and fearful, often because they feel less confident about being able to cope with changing circumstances or unexpected events. This problem can grow if they do have an accident like a fall, or an injury or an illness. Many people in later years find their lives overshadowed by grief, not only for the friends they have lost but also anticipatory grief for their own deaths.
In modern Western societies for many older people the situation is complicated by many people living much longer and by many families being fragmented. More older people are living alone and facing problems alone nowadays. Many older people are living in poverty, many are suffering from loneliness and some end up struggling with depression.
When it comes to growing older, the Bible has one consistent message. Older people should be respected and honoured, valued and cared for.
This is the Fifth Commandment Exodus 20 12 ‘Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Leviticus 19 32 ‘ “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.
Proverbs talks about the respect children should show for their parents.
Proverbs 1 8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 9 They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
Proverbs 30 17 ‘The eye that mocks a father, that scorns an aged mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.
Jesus himself quoted the Fifth Commandment
Matthew 15 4 For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’
That second quotation comes from Leviticus.
Leviticus 20 9 ‘ “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Because they have cursed their father or mother, their blood will be on their own head.
The Bible commands honours older people. In contrast to the Bible’s view, society today often fails to show appropriate respect for older people. On the contrary, there is often prejudice and discrimination against older people. This issue is labelled “Ageism” – the stereotyping, prejudice and discrimination against people on the basis of their age. It is a widespread and damaging problem which has harmful effects on older adults and on society as a whole. Structural and institutional ageism can be manifested in many forms. You can find ageism in the workplace, in patterns of promotion and in recruitment processes. Ageism can operate in access to health services and care provision. There are ageist stereotypes in TV and advertising and in the marketing of products. Ageism pits age groups against each other and reduces people to stereotypes. In particular, it is appallingly ageist, inaccurate and unjust to represent later life as a time of frailty and inevitable decline. Ageism is bad for individuals and bad for society. It divides the generations. Ageism means that some people limit themselves in how much they can enjoy their longer lives and the activities they do. At the same time economies and labour markets often fail to realise the full potential of older workers and of consumers.
Christians and churches should take a stand against all forms of ageism. We should speak of an OLDER person or of OLDER people, and NOT say OLD person or OLD people or Old Age Pensioners (OAP) or “the Elderly”. We need to avoid metaphors that present older age as some kind of problem or crisis. We should firmly reject ideas that an ageing population is some kind of Grey tsunami or Silver tsunami, or a demographic cliff or a demographic timebomb. These wrong ideas all portray older age and the ‘baby boomer’ generation as a growing burden on society. This is unfair, untrue, and damaging to relationships between the generations.
Oprah Winfrey said this. “We live in a youth-obsessed culture that is constantly trying to tell us that if we are not young, and we’re not glowing, and we’re not hot, that we don’t matter. I refuse to let a system or a culture or a distorted view of reality tell me that I don’t matter. I know that only by owning who and what you are can you start to step into the fullness of life. Every year should be teaching us all something valuable. Whether you get the lesson is really up to you.”
There are systemic problems with the ways our society views growing old and the way we treat older people. These affect the attitudes of younger people but they can also damage the self-esteem and self-worth of people as they grow older.
Archbishop Rowan Williams observed, “Quite a lot of our contemporary culture is actually shot through with a resentment of limits and the passage of time, anger at what we can’t do, fear or even disgust at growing old.”
Christians and churches should stand out as different by showing older people the love and respect which the Bible commands. We should stand alongside and stand up for older people. We live in a society which is marginalising older people more and more. We must be careful that we do not fall into the same trap within the church.
It will be good to ask ourselves what more we as a church could be doing to support older people. Part of that could well be to do with helping folk as they are struggling through grief. Another part could be to explore ways in which we could support folk who are working hard caring for older relatives and friends. Both individually and as a church, we must aim to help older people to maintain their independence, and demonstrate that they are very much valued, e.g. by involving and consulting them in everything. We must be sensitive as we introduce changes, both because older friends can often find change more difficult than younger people and also because change can imply criticism which we would never actually intend of “the way things used to be.”
In the Bible, older people are respected simply because they are older. “The Elders” led both community and church, usually simply because they were old! In contras ,“ageism” in our culture means that older people with their wisdom and experience are not always valued as they once were. I came across a quote which struck a chord with me. “Growing old is when you know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.”
The Bible sees things quite differently.
Job 12 12 Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?
It is sad to see so many examples when society and even the church hands too much responsibility on to young people too early, and things usually don’t end well.
I came across a fascinating story in the Book of 1 Kings which deserves a sermon of its own, but I will just have to summarise it tonight. When King Solomon died his two sons fought over his Kingdom, Rehaboam and Jereboam. The people were complaining and we read,
1 Kings 12 6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked.
7 They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.”
8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?”
10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, “Tell these people who have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter’—tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’ ”

So we read, 13 The king answered the people harshly. Rejecting the advice given him by the elders, 14 he followed the advice of the young men.

And things went downhill from then on. The lesson is transparent. Young people ignore the wisdom of their elders to everybody’s peril. And that can be just as true in the life of the church as it is throughout society.

The church as the family of God should be supporting older people in any ways we can, not only spiritually but in practical ways as well. In many places the Old Testament commands the people of God to give support to three particular groups of people, to widows, to orphans and to refugees. Our reading in 1 Timothy 5 give us an example of a “Widows List” of people being supported financially by the church.
1 Timothy 5 3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. … 5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.
From here and also from Acts 6, it is clear that from the very earliest days churches put systems in place to help those in need. But no church would have had a bottomless purse. So it is interesting that Paul also gives a list of criteria which should be used to decide whether a widow should be added to the Widows List
9 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, 10 and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.

In Paul’s instructions, not all widows would be entitled to be supported by the church, but only those who are living out their Christian calling through love and good deeds. The widow’s list was only for those who had no other means of support. In 1 Timothy 5 Paul lays out the responsibility children and grandchildren have in caring for their own family.
4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. … . 7 Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. 8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

In Scripture the primary responsibility for providing for people as they grew older lay with their family. Their children and grandchildren would give them a home, provide their food and take care of any medical needs they had. For most families this was the pattern in Britain even into the 20rh century and still is in many cultures around the world today, especially in rural communities. For us, different factors have eroded this tradition over the last few generations. Among other things, city life is different from rural life. People very often move long distances from their parents for education or to find work. Life expectancy is much longer nowadays. Families tend to have far fewer children and both parents often have demanding jobs. So how should we apply to our lives today the things Paul says about children and grandchildren taking care of their parents as they get older?
Many of us have had to worth these questions through for ourselves, balancing responsibilities to our own children and our work with supporting parents who, unlike in Bible times, may be living hundreds or even thousands of miles away. The reality is that there are very many people who would be able to take care of the practical daily needs of an elderly person. Only their children and grandchildren can share memories with them. So unless children or grandchildren are in a position to give up their jobs to become carers, I believe that it can be appropriate and even wise to turn to the Welfare State and to Care Homes to provide for our parents’ practical needs. Personally I will not be looking to my own children to invite me to live with them or to take care of me if that should ever become necessary.
As far as the church supporting older people is concerned, churches must struggle to find a balance between two very important needs, pastoral care and evangelism.
As we grow older, we all face the prospect of dying.
“To me, growing old is great. It’s the very best thing – considering the alternative.” – Michael Caine
Churches are called to demonstrate Christian love and community in offering pastoral care, practical care and support to older people, especially to “the household of faith”. But there is also the challenge which is often neglected to present the gospel to people, to help them prepare to face death and judgement before it is too late.

ADVICE FOR US ALL AS WE GROW OLDER
There are all kinds of myths about “how to age successfully.” It is often not the case that how a person experiences the advancing years is a matter of the individual’s choice or a consequence of their actions. How a person ages is often more a product of their environments than of their personal choices. Recognising that, there are still some words of helpful advice we can give as we all grow older.,
“Keep on taking exercise.”
“Keep up with the tech.”
“Keep on learning new things.”
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
“Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.” – Walt Disney
“You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis
We are never too old to do, by God’s grace, what God calls us to do. Abraham was 75 years old when God called him to leave his home and set out in faith on a journey where he wasn’t even told the destination. Moses was 80 years old when God called him to lead his chosen people out of slavery in Egypt and 120 years old by the time he had led the people through the wilderness to stand on the border of the promised land. Who knows what God may call us to do in our later years. Retirement may bring challenges, but it also brings new opportunities.
And as we become less active physically, we may have more time to pray and to meditate and to learn from the Bible. When we are not in a position to attempt so many great things for God, we can still seek to draw near to God. We can still aspire to grow in grace and in wisdom and in character and strive to become more like Jesus. Billy Graham said, “When granted many years of life, growing old in age is natural, but growing old with grace is a choice. Growing older with grace is possible for all who will set their hearts and minds on the Giver of grace, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
May God give us all the grace to press on to see him more clearly, love him more dearly and follow him more nearly day by day.